Hi all, I came across this review ( which in itself is a treat to read with beautiful artwork) of 'The biology of wonder', by Andreas Weber. It touches on a some of the subjects Alistair talked about this year, so maybe some of you find it inspiring. I have not read the book yet. If any of you have, I love to hear your thoughts on it. https://www.themarginalian.org/2023/12/05/biology-of-wonder-weber/?mc_cid=9bfc640211&mc_eid=d2821d6218&fbclid=IwAR3JrxqIU2mlw5vGjY4excURlewgzP2Zrl0RsJVTG4sVi3M60ACGZTNv1UQ(https://www.themarginalian.org/2023/12/05/biology-of-wonder-weber/?mc_cid=9bfc640211&mc_eid=d2821d6218&fbclid=IwAR3JrxqIU2mlw5vGjY4excURlewgzP2Zrl0RsJVTG4sVi3M60ACGZTNv1UQ) Wishing you a merry Christmas! Love Mechteld-Hanna

Once in a while I feel like I have had enough of experiencing the world from this body, with my thoughts, my past and present being. I wonder how it would be to experience life from within the experience of someone else. To be a young child, to be male, to be a bird flying in the sky. To be my dog sleeping in the sun. Today, as I brought this mornings meditation with me, I became very aware of awareness itself AND the boundedness of this awareness to this body and time. And also, that I am aware of this ever since I was a small child. There has often been something in me that marvels at being able to experience life; and yet is curious about other experiences, that would love to change perspective. There is a great contradiction in me: a life force, which is strong, both peaceful, deep and quiet and like a volcano: full energy waiting to burst into the world creative, dancing energy, loving and fruitful. And there is the reality of this body, tired, aching, dizzy; a life in which I try to contribute to family life, but have to drag myself along to do so. And sometimes I forget the latter, I feel like going for a long walk, but as I become aware of the picture in my mind’s eye: I see myself walking in the nearby woods, energetic, happy enjoying the outdoors…I sense my body an realize that I am not able to walk like that. And while I do not resent my body, I feel sometimes caged by it. I feel fed up, by how it weighs me down. Especially, while its lack of energy is also limiting my ability to concentrate, to have nice conservations with friends, to read a good book, to work, to play a long game with my kids……. There are tons of things I would love to do….They pop up in me…give me a spirit…yet cannot flourish or bloom….I feel like my dog in the morning: jumping around excitedly to get out, but having to wait till….yeah till when…if ever. So there is my caleidoscopic field:  aware of my longing, of my resistance to accepting this bodily being, of my  judgmental thought telling me to be ‘grateful to be alive’. Looking outside seeing a pink dahlia in the garden. Hearing a key in the lock, as my middle son comes home from school. My heart lifts up. The birds sing. A moment of content. A butterfly in the garden catches my eye. And my awareness of writing this, a longing to share my experience with you. And a judgmental thought about this longing. And a dissonant thought rising from deep inside my belly:  I post it anyway. And my awareness that with this tired body and tired mind, my experience differs from that of a year ago, 10 years ago, 30 years ago… I can trace a history to today, and in that sense it is my life, and this is my body. But my wish to have another perspective has been granted, albeit not in the way I may have hoped.

Hi all, I hope you all had at least some good times this summer. I certainly had both beautiful days as well as challinging ones. I would like to share one picture snd story of a really nice day and would love to see some pictures of you too! This is a picture of my last day of our holiday in Sweden, in the region Bohuslän. This region has a stunning archipelago. Lots of rocks, beautiful flowers, spendid villages.... This day we had a short hike over rocks to a secluded bay. The sun was shining, dark coulds where drifting in. My(http://in.My) second son and I quickly undressed to enjoy a dive in the sea. Noone around. Just wildlife, sea and my family. I felt so blessed. When I got my cancer diagnosis last year and dreamt about surviving, I pictured myself swimming in the outdoors. I am still lacking in energy to get back to a normal life and some days I feel sad and frustrated because of that. But as I swam and reminded myself of this wish of being able to swim like this....well,....all was well for that moment. And now I have this golden memory to carry in my heart.

It's hot and sunny outside and because of antibiotics I have to shield myself from the sun. I am a lot more indoors than I like to but I still am nourishing myself with nature. These are flowers I have grown from seed. I picked them today as a birthdaygift for a friend. I have similar flowers on our dining table. And I treasure them. When I seeded them indoors in early spring I was quite emotional: so grateful that I had survived cancer and yet also a bit anxious would I not seed the flowers for my own coffin? The plants have grown through a harsh spring and are now in my garden. 2 weeks ago I cut some beautiful flowers for my mother-in-law. She was dying at 88 yrs. She was a closed woman, who had quit isolated herself in her last years. But there was one thing we both loved: nature. She lived alone among farmland and would always tell us about the hare, birds or deer she had seen. And she loved flowers, especially those from the garden. She died peacefully in hospital. She is buried in an old forest next to my father in law. We gave her body back to nature. I now have a beautiful vase from her house filled with flowers from our garden. There is no better way to remember her. And each time I look at the flowers, my heart lifts for all the beautiful shapes and colours. And I feel grateful that I live to enjoy them.

I missed this mornings class because I discovered too late that I had forgotten to register. I felt really dissapointed which signals for me hoe much I enjoy meditating together with you. But I wanted to share here the reason why I was late in the first place. I was walking my dog this morning when my eye caught the peace flag in the fields near my village. It has been there since the start of the war, and the wind has taken many of its fibers. Of the dutch word for peace ' VREDE' only the first letters remain. For me this flag symbols the year that has passed. I looked at it and thought of the ruined cities in Ukraine, of the people who died, who mourn, who fight, who long for peace. And I wondered if there will be peace before this flag is fully blown in the wind. I felt my connection with them. I pray for peace.